Imitable Smile
by Verboten Byacolate
Summary: Sometimes, it's all you can do to smile. [onesided HHr]


A/N; I haven't written Harry Potter in a looong time… but I was browsing the fanfiction of an author I admire, and I sort of got into the funk. Then I started spouting a bunch of nonsense to myself while making lunch, so this was spawned. It's Hermione's POV. Enjoy the angst!

Summary; Sometimes, it's all you can do to smile.

Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this work of fanfiction.

**Imitable Smile**

I find that I can only stand here and watch the world revolve.

It's odd to realize, all at once, just how powerless you really are in the grand scheme of things. To figure out how little say you have in… anything. It's almost frightening the blow you are dealt while trying to remain sane in your selfish world. You cannot possibly understand what is happening to you.

I can see, though, what will happen. From who you speak of, and how you speak of her, I can see perfectly.

You will fall in love.

For now, it is only a simple infatuation. It's a rush, is it not? But soon, you'll find that it's always there. You can't help but see her bright eyes when you close your own. You can't help but dream of her smooth, soft face, and the vibrant, vivacious red hair. You are _just like your father _after all.

You will come together like she's always wanted—and she'll get what she's desired, her hero's worship one of the rare ones that turn into anything. Good for her.

You will make plans, plans that I helped create, plans that I constructed. I seem to do that a lot, don't I.

I will assist her, of course. As I am your best female friend, it's most fitting that I help her get to you, isn't it? Don't worry- I will play my part. And I'll do it damn well.

I will take her to shop upon shop until we find the perfect dress. I will clap and coo and fuss and act the best friend, but I don't do it for her.

I will wait the long months of planning and preparation, and of your public displays of affection, and I will avert my eyes because if I didn't then I'd probably go ballistic, and you'd be worried and she'd be suspicious, and it would make things very, very awkward.

The day will come, and it will be a spectacular occasion, because the _Boy Who Lived_ has turned into the _Boy Who Loved_, and everyone will want to be in on the action.

And after long, painful moments of sitting and fidgeting and fiddling with my fingers, the music will begin, and heads will turn to see the bride walk down the isle, clad in white that looks _"so smashing with her hair!"_, and whispers of, "Just like James and Lily" will rebound around the walls and fill my ears and make me want to dash, out of the church, our of the city, out of the country so I can _breathe_.

And you will smile, looking for all the world like the happiest man on Earth.

And you will turn to me, for the last time as just _you_, silently hesitating to take the plunge. You wish for my advice.

I have all the chance in the world to say what I want through my eyes. I could tell you not to do it—I could convince you that it is a foolish mistake. I could object. With a flick of my wrist, I could stop this whole procession, and take you away.

But… instead… I will smile smile.

And you will smile. I know you are happy, and I know you only want to be, because life is too short, and you want so badly to _live_.

So, while you live, happy and whole and in love, I will watch with a horrible fascination.

And when I see you two together like that, I can only think, 'That could have been me,' and move on. For then.

For now, though, while we are together, while none of that matters, and we are one, I will be content to smile my smile when you smile yours.

Sometimes, it's all you can do to smile. Because… that is love, isn't it?

Isn't it?

_-Fin-_

**I sincerely hope it wasn't disliked because of the format. It was just a jumble of thoughts rocketing around in Hermione's head… and, besides; when are thoughts ever REALLY organized:)**

**Written while listening to '**_**Angels**_**' by ****Within Temptation**

**-Bya-chan**


End file.
